Imagine you had a joint bank account with your love (husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend). Whenever any of you need to do something, you just go and withdraw. Then whenever you get money, you just go and deposit. You don’t have any hard and fast rule governing how you withdraw or deposit. You just do it out of love.
What if you kept withdrawing more than you’re depositing? What will happen? Soon there’ll be nothing left for the two of you and there’ll be a whole lot of issues.
Also, the more your deposits exceed your withdrawal, the more happy the two of you will be. You’ll most probably not think of how much each of you is depositing because you’re happy with how each of you is depositing.
If one realized that the other was making more withdrawals than they’re depositing, it may result in the other not depositing too. This will create issues. If one person decided to deposit more and more without withdrawing much, soon the other will feel like they’re doing less, and may be moved to deposit more.
There’s an emotional bank account between every two loved ones
Between you and your friend, lover, mother, father, cousin, sister, brother or any one you relate closely with, is an emotional bank account. The more there is in that account, the happier you both will be. Every action you take, either deposits into this account or withdraws from it. If it makes the other happy, you’re depositing the more, if not, it’s a withdrawal.
The emotional bank account of lovers or married couples is so delicate. Sometimes the little things make huge deposits than buying cars and houses for our loved ones. Someone might think that this post has some conflicting ideas with my other post but I’ll show you why you’re wrong.
Deposits are based on needs
Calling your girlfriend 100 times in a day may be something that makes you feel you’ve deposited so much into this emotional account but you could be wrong. It could be a neutral action or even be a withdrawal from that account based on your her paradigms, perceptions, past experiences and her entire way of life. Maybe at that point in time, she needs you to give her less attention. You need to know what the need is or you may be making withdrawals thinking you’re depositing.
Withdrawals will always happen, just make sure it’s less
As humans, we’ll always offend each other in a relationship. Just make sure things are handled properly. A typical example: You always come home late from work. After doing it for the first five times, you’ve withdrawn so much from the emotional bank account that, your wife has begun acting funny. After ten times, she finally complains to you.
If you really talk to your wife and you know her so well, you’ll know if she’s complaining because she wants your attention or she has trust issues, or she feels you value work more than her. Which ever it is, you could just stop it altogether, but you can find an alternative if you know the real cause. Maybe all that you need to do is call her unexpectedly once in a while, from work. Or maybe find a way of moving some of the work to early morning, or just come home late on fewer occasions. What ever you do, make sure you’re addressing the main issue. Don’t just do anything and complain that your wife likes to nag, understand the root cause and you can turn a withdrawal around into a huge deposit.
The little things
When you buy your loved one a car, she knows you love her and that’ll be a huge deposit most of the times. If her dad is really rich and she has two cars, that’ll probably not be such a huge deposit. If after getting her a car, she fell sick and you were too busy to visit her at the hospital, that’s gonna be a huge withdrawal.
You could pay maids, doctors, musicians to go help her get better. If you couldn’t take the time to visit her and give her flowers, the deduction from the emotional bank account would probably exceed the deposit of the car.
If your wife woke up one day with a love letter under her pillow, she’d probably be so happy meanwhile that cost you just a paper and small quantity of ink.
You get the picture?
Focus on sacrificing for each other. Just make sure you’re doing the right thing. Don’t go sell all your belongings to get your spouse a birthday present to show you love her. She’ll probably feel you have misplaced priorities and dump you. Not every good act is necessarily a deposit.
Deposit more, enjoy each other and be happy!