So she convinced me. I decided I was gonna tell Naana about it. That was when I realized how difficult that task was going to be.
We’d never said anything close to that. We’d never had a flirtatious conversation. (Something I’m good at) Somehow, it was so hard for me to bring up anything that suggested that I was romantically attracted to that girl, I just didn’t understand why.
Moment of truth
I was still baffling with the thought of telling Naana about my feelings for her. I wanted to tell her in person but I later gave up on that and decided to do it by phone.
Now telling her by phone wasn’t gonna be easy too.
I picked up my phone, staring at her number. I only had to press the call button but I stood there for a while unable to do that. I finally resolved to tell her by text.
I sent her a text saying:
Hi, I’ve always wanted to tell you this, I have feelings for you. I love you… do you feel same?
I thought she would text back but she called instead. I had to pick it, I was shaking but I knew I had to pick it so I did, I stayed on the line quietly as I listened to hear her voice.
“Hi Jeff” she spoke
“Hey” – I remained quiet again
“I saw your message”
“Well… you’re a nice person and I like you”
“…but not in that sense, I like you as a brother”
At this point I felt a sharp pain across my chest as though it’s been cut open so fast that I didn’t see. I was still quiet…
“Ok… I hear.” I finally spoke.
We ended the call. I was hurt. Alice was right, I was wrong to have assumed. Well, I was even more stupid to have believed a swinging pendulum.
* * *
The next day at school, I appeared dull. I tried to get her off my mind but it had already become impossible! She was still cool with me and life was normal in the eyes of everyone else, only I knew what was going on in my head.
I decided not to give up. I resorted to expressing my feelings through text messages. Every night I would send her a nice message, which she would read but won’t really react positively. She pitied me!
* * *
Back at home, Mark and I had become quite close. He’s had his share of love ups and downs and I’ve had mine. We both loved music and that added another layer of bonding.
John on the other hand, though still close to me, all we had in common was the fact that we played video games and we attend the same SHS. He was the introvert type too.
So back to my ordeal… I’ve been rejected, brother-zoned for that matter and yet all people see is the fact that I’m a happy guy who can easily get a girlfriend if he really wants, but I’m a bit hard to impress so this is what I get for that.
…won’t back down
To be continued…