At this point, I was faced with reality. I had to fight, I had to try and get her. That was the only option I gave myself.
I was always nice to her. I would do anything to make her happy. Little by little I forced myself deeper into her life, deeper into friend zone but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get closer.
“Jeff can you please come early tomorrow morning and help me with the topic we treated today?”
– “ok, sure! “ I said, feeling so excited. It’s an opportunity to help her.
I never missed an opportunity to be there for her. I appeared too desperate and needy and unattractive. Meanwhile 70% of the girls were my friends, not close friends but we were cool, they liked my company. But it’s the one person that was choking with my presence that I always wanted to be with.
I wouldn’t stop texting and calling to check up on her.
“hi, I know you love me as a brother, I don’t know if I can learn to live without you. I love you so much I feel you’re a part of me that I cannot take away”
Her: “hmm… “
Sometimes I got no response at all, but it made me feel ok knowing I had poured out my heart.
I had asked her several times if she had a boyfriend and she said no. I kept wondering why it’s so hard for her to give me a chance.
* * *
I told Alice about it. I told her how right she was and how wrong I have been all this while. She consoled me and talked with me for hours. I liked her company, but I’d never thought of her as a romantic partner because I felt she was way up there, and I was down here. I mean, she rolls with the guys we’re trying to be, why would she want to be with me? I had put her in a zone that is totally out of coverage area.
I was still able to learn and understand during those times despite my situation. It definitely had an effect on my studies but it wasn’t so obvious.
The Alice regime
On a typical evening, Alice and I will talk for hours. I play her favourite love songs then she sings along and we’re all like “awww…”. We had this strong connection but then we had never seen each other.
– “I really love Naana” I told Alice as we spoke one evening.
– “Hmm… you said she’s single right?”
– “Yes…” I replied
– “Don’t worry you’ll be fine ok”
Talking to Alice didn’t take my mind of Naana in anyway. I only liked Alice as a friend because… You already know. I had friend-zoned myself. I felt she was out of my league. I mean her boyfriend was in the university reading an engineering program and I was still in SHS.
We got closer with each passing day and talked more about our personal life. What’s bothering us, what we go through, we talked about deep issues whenever they came our way.
To be continued…