“Jeff I like you a lot, you’re a good guy… but I love Josh. I know he’s not serious with me, I wish that I loved you instead but I don’t feel anything within my heart for you”
Wow… you think I got hurt right? No!! I was only hurt for a split second; when she said “I love Josh” that was it. I was happy that I had made progress, that at least her mind knows I’m good for her.
“Hmm… ok, but I really do love you. You know that right?” I said softly. “Yes, I know…” she replied. We walked and talked till we got to where we had to depart.
That day, as I sat in the trosky (commercial vehicle), I sat by the window and put the side of my head against the window like they do in movies, listening to Adele’s “someone like you”. I felt so emotional, I had mixed feelings… love, sadness, happiness, pain… the moment I got home, I called her.
“Hey I’m home” I said.
“Ok that’s fine” she replied.
We barely talked for a minute, then we ended the call.
You know, I was my own enemy. I had told myself so many times that I would prove to her that I loved her. I never resisted the chance to be emotional and sad, I allowed all that to flow and even added more salt to injury by constantly listening to love songs. I had a whole play-list of them.
* * *
We finally got to the final year. I still continued being nice to her. I was always there for her, always sacrificing. She tried to like me, she tried to respond to my love but it was just not working.
* * *
Alice catching feelings
All this while, Alice and I were talking everyday. She got closer to me, I realized there was something special about how we related but I couldn’t imagine she liking me so I always brushed it off.
I spoke to John about it. John went to the same SHS with me remember? Yes. And he kept making funny comments like: “I knew this day would come, you’re the man!” I didn’t listen to him at all.
I felt Alice isn’t the type of girl to say ‘no’ to if she likes you, after all Naana doesn’t like me. But the point is, I wasn’t really into Alice. I felt she met the criteria tho, so the only real problem was: Did she really like me in that sense? Something I wasn’t gonna believe easily.
I called Alice one evening as usual. During our conversation, I realized we had gotten so deep into the conversation, it was almost romantic.
“Do you have feelings for me?” I asked her. The atmosphere was so right I couldn’t have asked it at a more appropriate time.
“Hmm… Jeff, I really can’t tell” she replied after a few seconds of silence. My confidence shot up, my flirting skills just improved at once by over 200%.
“Really? You know there’s this connection I feel between us, but sometimes it’s hard to think that it’s real because you’re dating”
“awww.. hmm, you know this guy is in the university and I don’t even know what he’s doing with other girls over there. Moreover we hardly talk of late… But I am not bothered, I don’t really care.” She said.
“However, it’s you who has feelings for Naana… so… I don’t know…” she added.
To be continued…