Angela is 22. At a tender age she always saw her dad beat her mum. Her dad is a body builder and looks really masculine. Angela grew up not liking very masculine looking guys. In addition to that, she doesn’t like very tall guys because she gets even more uncomfortable with them. She doesn’t care about money, she doesn’t care about physique (as you just read).
James is 23, he currently has no job and he’s heavily in debt. He’s well built, 188cm tall. James is admired by a lot of ladies because of his stature but James still feels uncomfortable around women the moment topics about jobs, money and all that come up.
James meets Angela and tries to be friends with her. For no apparent reason she just refuses to even smile back. She’s totally put off by the mere sight of James. James feels she’s probably too classy to date a guy in a pair of old jeans. He goes home feeling really bad, thinking the rejection was as a result of his appearance (which is a result of his financial status).
Feeling bad after a rejection
Rejection can get you thinking of yourself as less worthy, as inferior if not handled well. In fact, rejection is the main reason why we find it difficult to talk to strangers. We are afraid of an awkward interaction. We are afraid of messing up and being rejected by whoever we’re talking to.
It’s normal to feel bad about being rejected but you should know that being rejected doesn’t have to do with you about 90% of the time. Try not to think for the person or group of people that rejected you. You may be wrong.
Why we face rejection
We may be rejected for any of the following reason, or accepted for any. Don’t feel bad because it’s mostly not because you’re not good enough.
1 . You are not what they want:
If you go to a computer shop to get a laptop for the sake of portability and they try to sell a very good desktop with extremely high specs at a very good price, will you buy it? Maybe you will, but you’ll probably sell it and get more money to buy two laptops.You want portability because you may have to move the laptop frequently. Specs can’t help you achieve that. In the same way, if someone was looking for a particular trait for some reason (mostly subconscious so they don’t even know), they will never consider your best traits if you lack the trait they want.
2 . You are different:
Imagine you relocated to a new neighborhood and begun trying to make friends. This new hood is full of middle class and poor people. Their way of thinking is different, the jokes that make them laugh doesn’t make you laugh. You definitely can’t fit in. You try making a conversation and it just doesn’t flow but you see them laughing and having fun when they are with one another. They have to reject you because you don’t fit in!
3 . You are a threat
So you are a pretty, smart, friendly girl. You become friends with this guy and you start developing feelings for him. He’s cute and all, but he’s not looking in your direction at all and you just don’t get it. What you don’t know is that, this guy is a control freak and loves vulnerable ladies. You are too smart for his liking, you are too confident for him. You don’t have to change dear, you have to know your worth and leave!
4 . They are not emotionally stable
Some people cannot accept love and affection. They are so bitter and locked up within themselves. You could work to get into their life and help them out of their miseries but you may also fail, who knows? They may act strong and so integrated but deep down they’re too broken to accept love. They will push you away for no apparent reason. Why look down on yourself and give yourself so many reasons why you were rejected?
5 . Stereotyping
We have those that think that all people from so and so place, all guys born in so and so month, all girls with this hair color behave in a certain way. The list is infinite so let’s not try to mention all. Let’s assume a guy believes that all blonds are unfaithful, he might never trust you enough to date you if you’re blond. He may be bold to say he doesn’t like blonds but he most probably won’t tell you why. Don’t stress yourself trying to prove to him you are faithful (That’s if you ever get the hint). You can always try tho, and you might succeed. But just know you don’t have to dislike yourself for that.
The list goes on and on…
There are so many reasons a person or group will reject you. Just know that you are someone’s dream and just keep improving yourself. Make yourself into the person you love and do not seek the love of someone who rejected you.
Please share your thoughts, experiences and examples in the comments section. You can also post on our Facebook page. Let us hear from you. 😀